Saturday, September 27, 2008

Sex On Fire

Well, long time no type? Probably because I have been typing objective after objective after get the idea.
I had a few huge tests the previous two weeks, and two weeks from now I have midterms. I can't believe how fast everything is going. It's as though half of my body is cemented into the ground, but my hands are still flailing around trying to keep my upper half mobile. Equate this to the pancake theory I read about:
You wake up every morning to eat 4 pancakes for breakfast. But, after a week of eating pancakes, you save two for the next day and only eat two for breakfast. So, the following morning you have six pancakes instead of four, and there is no way to eat that much in one sitting. And before you know it, you have a stack of pancakes the height of the empire state building and the appetite of an anorexic.
This is medical school. This is what happens when you get behind or try to plan your studying, it's a joke.
For the "Unified Quiz" (ummm...miny MCAT, 2 1/2 hours for 100 questions, you get the idea?), I was behind in my studies even though I have consistently done something every day. I've gotten a lot better than I was in Undergrad, and I am finally learning how to read and use a planner. You laugh, but it's a skill that isn't so easy to acquire. I poured my heart into Biochem, which was 30 pancakes high, and as a result my other studies were rushed. Gross Anatomy, Histology, and Bioethics...even my cake class needed necessary attention, as four days after the quiz we had our final.
By the grace of GOD, I got an "A" in Histology and Bioethics. By mistake, I didn't miss one question in Anatomy, not one. How the hell do you get a 100 on a test in medical school? I'm not that smart, so I attribute it to my studying. Biochem was a solid 60, which in medical school, is failing....just for your information. The questions smacked me in the face, as I received high marks in Biochem in college, I realized this class is on a whole new level. Who cares about structures and pathways? You have patients coming into the E.R. with acedemia, and you need to know exactly how their body is compensating for this, and what part of the pathway is knocked out to treat the source...and what to do for the symptoms in the meantime. That tricky son of a bitch got me this time, but I'll be damned if I don't know every clinical application by the 10th of October. D-day for Biochem, I'm going to rock the test so hard. Rock it like a hurricane (sorry, it had to be said).
As a celebration (I got an "A" as a final grade in Bioethics), I ran away with ten of my lovelies to Scotland. It was the perfect release after torturing myself and creating indentations of my ass in chairs scattered throughout the library. The pictures don't even do Edinburgh justice, much less my words. You have to go, you have to see the castle and let the culture take over everything you thought about Scottish people. Being Scottish and a descendent of the Mackenzie clan and Mary Queen of Scots, it was the best trip I've ever been on. Educational, yet intriguing, it made my homesick feelings melt away. I really like it here, sincerely, the whole "dumb-Amanda-leaving-the-country-for-medical-school-makes-you-look-like-a-loser-as-if-you-couldn't-tough-out-a-US-school" is gone. I feel bad for the people who stayed in Florida for school, or even the U.S. People get sick everywhere in the world, and you're narrow minded to even begin to think your education's superior to mine. I've had the chance to meet people from so many countries, I have worldly colleagues for networking, and my options are only growing.
I know I sound like a b****, but I wouldn't trade Harvard Medical School for this. I've seen Boston, but after midterms, I'm going to Dublin. How many medical students can say that? Worldly experience (relational) is worth so much more to me, and if there is a social stigma for attending overseas school...well then I will just work harder than you, score higher on the tests, and earn that residency spot. It won't be because of my citizenship, it will be because I want to be the best in my field. I'm not working my way to the top of the food chain to sit on my ass and draw in cash. I will do Doctor's without Borders, I want to educate other students, I want to continue my education until I die, because it makes me happy. Who knows? Maybe have kids and raise them the way my Mom raised me, to do something because it makes me feel happy/good/virtuous.
I think that's what it boils down to. I am so happy right now, I don't know what to do with myself.
Who'd of

Sunday, September 7, 2008

A Kick in the Teeth

You may not realize when it does or why, but it may be the best thing. ~Fischerspooner

On a light note, whenever I get into a deep study mode my music changes to fit the mood. Broken Social Scene, an obnoxious amount of Ryan Adams, Feist, Air, The get the gist.

School is suffocating. You can't ever really catch up, so it's more mental than anything. I figure within the next week or two, I will have a set schedule. Time management is crucial to me not killing myself before the huge unified "quiz" not this Monday, but the following. I haven't been able to write, post cards or e-mails, and my contact with the outside world is quickly thinning.

I have trips to Dublin and Munich planned, both plane tickets under 100 pounds (YEAH!), but they seem so far away with all of the information I need to jam into my head over the next couple of weeks. I can't even begin to fathom midterms or finals. Ugh, it makes me shudder.
I went back and looked at the photos of my colleagues before school started. When the coast was a regular stop, and I could manage the amount of work thrown at me, now I feel like the boat is beginning to capsize and my futile attempts to throw pails of water back into the ocean aren't going to cut it.
Side note: I hate any and all nerve plexuses, especially the brachial one. That bastard.
Other than that, it's raining a ton, and I have a surf trip scheduled Thursday morning. For my personal sanity, I beg God to let the waves break at 4 feet again. Radical riding brahs!
Until next time....